Saving your relationship- What’s My Choice? If what I say or do _______ Will it bring us closer together (connecting) or push us further apart (disconnecting). ~ Dr. William Glasser
If you are familiar with Dr William Glasser’s Choice Theory Psychology, you will notice that we have been describing the 7 Connecting Habits – Listening, Encouraging, Accepting, Respect, Negotiating Differences, Support and Trust. By practising these connecting habits, we create positive communication, bring people closer to us and build relationships. Conversely, Dr Glasser also talked about 7 Disconnecting Habits – Criticising, Blaming, Complaining, Nagging, Threatening, Punishing and Rewarding to control.
Face it! We practise many of these disconnecting habits under the guise of giving honest feedback or sharing our feelings but it only pushes people away.
So how do we know if what we say or do pushes or brings people closer to us? At the end of each day, think through the 7 Connecting and Disconnecting Habits and see which habit matches what you did. If you practised a Connecting Habit, think how it felt and how it was received; and could you do it again. If you practised a Disconnecting Habit, recall how the other party received it and then think how you could rephrase or reframe what you said. Over time, practising the habits will become easier like second nature. Good Luck with the practice! saving your relationship.